Today was a busy day. Jared and I had our maternity shoot today. We met our photographer Emily at a nice little park in Jacksonville. It was cold and windy but the proofs I got today turned out really cute anyway. Not meaning to brag. Hahaha well yes I do, but I am an adorable pregnant girl! I liked everyone of my pictures, and normally I only like a few. It makes me happy they turned out the way they did. Honestly im happy I was able to take them. I shouldn't have waited as long as I did to get them done. The night before I was in so much pain, I thought I was going into labor. Thank god I wasnt. Im just not ready.
I actually have a lot of anxiety about labor that I didnt think I would have. I mean I have been to school. I have takes Anatomy. I have educated myself just about as much as I think I can. I know what happens during birth. I am just still so scared. I have a high tolerance for pain but I just dont think Im ready. I am so scared that Its going to hurt to much and that im going to just lose it. I really dont know how im going to handle it. Im scared of the pain. Im scared of the epidural. Even though I have no fear of needles. Im scared of the possibility of a c-section. There is just so much that has me stressed about the whole thing. I dont feel like I can go to Jared because lets face it, Hes a man and never will understand child birth. He wont feel the pain or discomfort. No amount of describing it will really get him to understand either. This is were I need my other moms to step in. Help me with all my anxiety please. I know it wont take away all my fears but it might help.
Well I guess I should let you go. I need to get some sleep. I have a long day ahead of me. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I will keep you posted.
Lauren
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