Anxiety. Shes a bitch.

Well everyone, It finally hit me. In less than 30 days Jared and I are going to be parents. It scares me. I know I have had the last 8 months to prepare, I see all Ryders things everyday. But now that it is so close its scaring me. I hope this is how every first time mom feels. I dont want to make it seem like my child is unwanted. He is far from that. I am just so nervous, and I bet Jared feels the same way. We will see. Maybe when I finally see him all this anxiety will go away. Plus im sure all these contractions and just generally being uncomfortable are not helping my situation. I have been feeling my Braxton hicks contractions up in my lungs every time they happen. Its so awful. I literally feel like I am on the verge of exploding. Thank God this will all be over soon. I just want to get it all over and done with. Jared just did one of those really cute things that just literally melted away my anxiety. We are sitting together on the couch watching the Big bang theory. I have my shirt lifted up over my belly since I was getting kind of warm but still to cold to take my sweater off. He just placed his hand on my belly and started rubbing it. He was smiling. It was so sweet. Jared normally dosnt do these kinds of things. I know he is excited about the baby but I know he has some deep seeded fears like I do. But when he does things like that, It reassures me that its all going to be ok. We are ready for this and what ever else life throws at us. I bet after my last ultrasound next week It will get us both more excited. They are going to weigh and measure Ryder. Im so excited to know how big he is. My family has a wager going as to his length and weight. Everyone thinks he will stay under 7lbs. So do I. Im betting 6lbs 4 Ounces. and 17 inches. Jared and I both were small babies and im just little to begin with. I wish there was some way they could tell  me his hair color lol. Mine and Jared's family has such a wide variety of hair colors. Im just dying to know! Lol about 28 more days Lauren. God that's weird to say. Well I guess I will get my lazy butt up and get ready. We are helping some friends of ours pick up a new couch today. Same thing we did yesterday lol. Ill keep everyone updated on upcoming events. So keep reading!