Its over. FINALLY!

Well everyone tomorrow is the big day! Tomorrow I will be in my husbands arms for the first time in six and a half months! Not to surprised that I am pretty cranky today, considering I still have like 35 hours!!!! Thats far to many. I swear though, It feels like the morning he left. We woke up around 8am and from the second he got out of bed all I could do was cry. I feel really bad looking back. I know Jared wanted to enjoy the last day he had with me for the next six months. I pretty much ruined it for him. But heck I was hormonal and about to let go of the love of my life. I was terrified. What if something happened to him? I would never see him again. My son would never know his father.How could I raise my son with out his dad? It was all to much for me to handle. All I could do was cry and beg for him not to go. Even though I knew no amount of crying could keep him home. What made it even worse was we were told to be at the base at 11am. Then we sat there all day until about 6pm before we finally put them on the buses. It was like pulling a band aid off really slow. It was incredibly painful. All I wanted to do was say good bye, go home and crawl in bed. Finally when it was time to say goodbye, I lost it. Jared literally had to pry me away from him. Jared has never been good with goodbyes. I know he just wanted to get it over with so he wouldn't cry. I got one last kiss and he was gone. I wouldn't see his face for the first five months of the deployment. The very first time he finally had access to Skype I cried. This whole journey had been the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I never want to do it again even though I know it will always be a possibility. And who knows. With Ryder being raised as a military brat, he might want to follow in his daddies footsteps. Its a terrifying thought but I need to settle down and realize It something I am just going to have to get used to.  I just thank god every day that he took care of Jared for me while he was gone. I prayed every night for his safety. And honestly since I have never been particularly religious. I now believe my prayers were answered. During this deployment Jared's truck hit several IED's, and some how he managed to come out of each one with little less than a mild concussion. I got lucky. If I had ever gotten that knock at my door, my life would have ended then and there. I know  that sounds dramatic, but I would have lost my best friend, my lover, my husband, the father of my son,and the keeper of my secrets. I would have lost everything. Tomorrow I know as soon as I see him walk twords me I will burst into tears. They will be happy tears but they will also be tears of relief. I will no longer have to go to bed and worry about him. He will finally be right where he is supposed to be. Its over. Thank god.
(The photo up top is a photo taken right after our husbands boarded the buses. Our face says it all)

Lauren