Things have actually been stressful lately. Ryder has become very gassy which has made him really cranky. He dose not sleep well anymore. He refuses to let us put him in his crib, and will only sleep well if we are holding him. Now I understand he was inside me for 9 months and It takes some adjusting being out in the world. Its just making things really hard. I know this is something all moms go though and I might be in the wrong for complaining about it. I just need things to wind down. I was nearly in tears this morning. I had to hand the screaming baby to Jared while I went and sat in a hot shower for about 45 minuets. I needed silence, and thank god the sound of the running water drowned everything out. I needed "me" time. I was going to lose it if I didn't get any time to myself.
I feel guilty for being so overwhelmed. I knew what we were getting into when I got pregnant. I just thought since I had taken care of my little sister when she was an infant, that it would have better prepared me for life as a parent. I just fell like it did nothing. He screams and cries and I have no clue what is wrong with him. He has been fed, burped, changed, and given gas medicine but he still screams. I cant wait for this phase to be over.It will be so much better once we are moved and he has his own room. I think that might be part of the problem is that Jared and I have no space that is just our own. It will be nice once Ryder has an actual nursery. I think it will cut down my irritability as well. I have really had to bite my tongue the last few day. Jared dosnt deserve to be snapped at. He has done nothing wrong. He is just as new to this parenting thing as I am. I just need to breath. Right now im feeding Ryder but I have my ipod plugged into my head to drown out any background noise. Its helping. Well I have to get back to my motherly duties. Have a wonderful weekend.
Lauren
It will all be okay. This is why I STRONGLY believe women should wait until after 25 to have children. Its VERY overwhelming and honestly we are much better suited to deal with it all as we get a bit older. Nothing can prepare you for having your own child honey. You may have babysat your little sisters but at the end of the day you were free to do as you pleased. This gave you a false sense of motherhood Im afraid. But one thing I know is that you can do this! Babies/children will always be challenging at every age but you will adapt and be fine. I love you!
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Lauren Sweetheart, there is no need to feel guilty about being overwhelmed. I am sure any new Mom has the same feelings now and then. It is a challenging job and a life altering experience becoming parents for the first time. I can only imagine as I have never experienced it myself. But look at all the wonderful times Ryder gives you, count your Blessings, this is a very special time in your lives, try to enjoy it and trust me that Jared understands that you feel overwhelmed. Things will get easier in time and you two will be fine. Take care of your little family - I love all three of you and can't wait to meet Ryder!! <3
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